GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Directed by: Stephen Sommers

Starring: Sienna Miller

Genre: Sci-Fi/Action- Adventure

Run Time: 118 min.

Release Date: August 2009

On The Web: Official Site

Teaser: Movie Trailer

Reviewed by Byron Merritt

Many men my age grew up playing with GI Joe army men (note to women: DO NOT CALL THEM DOLLS!) I even had the one with the Kung Fu Grip. And I had his army jeep, and his shoulder-mounted bazooka and other weaponry. So I was pretty keen to see what Hollywood might do with my beloved GI Guy.

Well ...it was entertaining. It’s a summer popcorn flick, for sure. And its got some nice CGI. But little else beyond that. The story is fairly lame and ultimately predictable. Channing Tatum as the new Joe recruit named Duke is okay, but nothing to write home about (note to Mr. Tatum: I’m aware that you’re a true Kung Fu expert, so please don’t take this personally). I don’t particularly blame Channing Tatum for this, as the script was lacking more than anything he did or didn’t do. Some of the lines were so obnoxiously bad that I literally cringed (ex. "That’s my girl." Ouch). And although Sienna Miller (CASANOVA) pulled in a pretty good performance as a kick-ass femme fatale, she was overshadowed by the testosterone-filled guys who ultimately end up helping fight off the evils in and around her. Dennis Quaid (VANTAGE POINT) continues to be cast-type in mediocre films when I know he can do better since he was in one of my favorite science fiction films, ENEMY MINE.

Director Stephen Sommers is best known for his comedic action films ...such as THE MUMMY series, and here he tries valiantly to keep that funny streak going. Although there were some funny moments thanks to Marlan Wayans (Yes, he’s one of the Wayans’ brothers), the relatively nonstop action quickly negated it.

So after ripping it apart, one might expect a pretty bad rating from me. But it was a fun diversion for a lazy summer day. It works on only one level: mindless action entertainment. So if you’re in the mood for such a thing, it might suffice. If not, go check out something more cerebral like DISTRICT 9.

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Image from GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

DVD cost: NOT YET AVAILABLE

Purchase: NOT YET AVAILABLE

Film Review Stew Favorite? No.

Stew Poo-Poo? No.

Newsworthy: To prepare for her role as the Baroness, Sienna Miller spent four months in weight training and boxing, gaining five pounds of muscle, and also learned to fire live ammunition.

Movie Quote: "Technically, this unit doesn't exist. But if it did, it would be comprised of the best soldiers from across the world. And when all else fails, they don't."

Other Actors/Actresses from GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Images from GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra